my realm of vertigo

You shall not accept any information unless you verify it for yourself. I have given you the hearing, the eyesight and the brain, and you are responsible for using them {17:36}

Saturday, July 15, 2006

Always on your side-Sheryl Crow

My yesterdays are all boxed up and neatly put away
But every now and then you come to mind
Cause you were always waiting to be picked to play the game
But when your name was called, you found a place to hide
When you knew that I was always on your side

Well everything was easy then, so sweet and innocent
But your demons and your angels reappeared
Leavin' all the traces of the man you thought you'd be
Leavin' me with no place left to go from here
Leavin' me so many questions all these years

But is there someplace far away, someplace where all is clear
Easy to start over with the ones you hold so dear
Or are you left to wonder, all alone, eternally
This isn't how it's really meant to be
No it isn't how it's really meant to be

Well they say that love is in the air, but never is it clear,
How to pull it close and make it stay
Butterflies are free to fly, and so they fly away
And I'm left to carry on and wonder why
Even through it all, I'm always on your side

But is there someplace far away, someplace where all is clear
Easy to start over with the ones you hold so dear
Or are we left to wonder, all alone, eternally
But is this how it's really meant to be
No is it how it's really meant to be

Well if they say that love is in the air, never is it clear
How to pull it close and make it stay
If butterflies are free to fly, why do they fly away
Leavin' me to carry on and wonder why
Was it you that kept me wondering through this life
When you know that I was always on your side




This song just make me teary-eyed....



and Damn the Yankees
(See if you can remember old skool songs like these :))


I don't wanna hear about it anymore
It's a shame
I've got to live without you anymore

There's a fire in my heart
A pounding in my brain
It's driving me crazy

We don't need to talk about it anymore
Yesterday's just a memory
Can we close the door
I just made one mistake
I didn't know what to say when you called me baby

Don't say goodnight
Say you're gonna stay forever
Oh oo Oh, all the way

Can you take me high enough
To fly me over (fly me over) yesterday
Can you take me high enough
It's never over
Yesterday's just a memory (yesterday's just a memory and)

I don't want to live without you anymore
Can't you see I'm in misery
And you know for sure
I would live and die for you
And I'd know just what to do when you call me baby

Don't say goodbye
Say you're gonna stay forever
Oh oo Oh,
all the way

Can you take me high enough
Can you fly me over (fly me over) yesterday
Can you take me high enough
It's never over
Yesterday's just a memory,

I'm running
I was running for the door
The next thing I remember
I was running back for more

Yeah...Don't say goodbye
Say you're gonna stay forever
Oh oo Oh, all the way (all the way, all the way, yeah)
Can you take me high enough
Can you fly me over (fly me over) yesterday
Can you take me high enough
It's never over
Woh oo oh oo oh oo oh

Can you take me high enough
Won't you fly me over (won't you fly me over) yesterday
Can you take me high enough
It's never over
Woh oo oh oo oh oo oh

Monday, July 10, 2006

Warren Macdonald

Warren Macdonald, I have nothing but admiration for you.

An example of perseverance beyond humand endurance.

I salute you

Thursday, June 01, 2006

To you Grandfather...

I wish to say sorry for not being able to be at your deathbed
I wish to say sorry for not being there at your funeral yesterday
I wish to say sorry for only have known you so little and met you few times in my life
I hope that you will rest in peace and may you be placed in a good haven

When my mum called me from Malacca to tell me that my grandfather has just passed away, the only word i could say was ok and 'Inna Lilah Wa Inna Lilah Hi Rah Ji Un' . Now, two days later, i feel sad that i did not feel sad for him then. I didn't know my grandfather well although i know he existed. He was the only grandparent that was still alive but he was staying in Malacca and I am here. I just feel numbed with too many things that is going in my life that i don't know what to feel. and although he's of blood relation, i just don't know what to feel of him passing away. But i keep seeing his face now...

Grandpa, I pray for your happiness over there.


We belong to Him and to Him we are returning.....

Thursday, May 11, 2006

Powerful article

I think this is one of the most powerful, earnest and direct article i've read. It's a must read. (by Anna E. Jordan)
http://www.submission.org/God/same.html


Ignorance and apathy are the worst enemies of the mind and soul

Peace to all
Juli

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

















Beautiful Sarah



This is my friend's daughter. Isn't she BEAUTIFUL?!
OK I want a daughter as beautiful as Sarah. Anyone out there wants to be the sperm donor? hehe...only the million armies I want, other things I don't want...

To make my own beautiful Sarah as perfect as possible the man must must qualify these criterias
1) must have the intelligence of Bill Gates
2) must have the looks of Tom Cruise
3) must have the heart of Gandhi
4) must have the body of Vin Diesel

ok, if you think you fit these traits, you can call this number : 1800-donate-my-sperm-foundation.
Call me...

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

Essence

I want to sail the Gondola with you
Watching your face, beaming
With the light of the sun slithering through your lines
Of experience of time of sadness and all the endeavours
that you went through
that we went through

I want to sail the Gondola with you
To kiss you not only of passion
But for thanking you
All these years sharing,
What nobody else could do
Together with me

We have gone on the journey together
And we hold hands
Feeling them and reminiscing what it was then
Forty years ago
Holding hands made us excited
But now it’s you and me, leading each other
Hoping you’ll hold me for eternity
And we’ll be there to see each other
When we cease here to exist

Love no longer means bunch of flowers for me
But the petals to throw
On the bed of my remains
And to know that this love means more than just ‘you and me’

I want to sail the Gondola with you
Cos it’s a journey
Not only here and now
But in essence ultimately

Sunday, May 07, 2006

Feeling, Nothing but a feeling


This is the thing about feelings; it creeps up unto you when you least expected.
It may be a good thing to those who are pleasantly surprised by the lightning bolt of that initial amorous feeling. But it may come unfortunately sometimes as that heart-splitting hitting dagger which can knock you out instantly. I’ve experienced both, yes, something that’s hard to control.

That’s the thing about feeling; I’m pointing specifically to love. This four-letter word coupled with the potent emotion can really make people do stupid, even self-destructive stunts. Oh yes, I’ve been passionate, relentless, self-sacrificial, silly, irritating, understanding, you name it, I’ve been there, done that. If in normality, I would usually be in total control of myself but this sometimes unwelcomed affection just have to creep up and make me do compulsive actions that would force me to open myself up and do something silly, which is not something I fancy.

I like to be in control of myself and that’s why it’s difficult for me to let other people in on my life. But when true and genuine affection and passion comes whiff by and linger, I hold on and don’t want to let it go (even when it’s time to let go). I don’t know if this is what others have been doing and I don’t know if this is right. Is there any right or wrong answers? I think the difficult and thin line is to love unconditionally or to love your partner silly!

I believe that the partner you are with or the one that you are not with are all pre-planned. Perhaps the ones that you lost were just not meant for you and perhaps there are good reasons for that. Perhaps the ones that you are with, are with you for certain reasons, perhaps even more important than just to be your companion. Actually i have told my past companions, that i need more than just a relationship. I don't know, maybe i have created a negative impression on them with that statement. Hhhmmm...But that is just my principle. Maybe that principle has also made me err in my judgement in some ways. I don't know.

But anyway, I strongly believe that whatever I do, I have to put in my best effort and especially when it comes to something as important as the love I cultivate in my relationships.
I do not want to look back and to think that I’ve let go of something or someone that is so precious to me and I just let it go without care.

I have to be candid about this, but it’s not easy to find a good person in this world, let alone a good person who loves you and whom you love back, deeply, and if I did, do, or will find him, would I ever want to let him go? You live only once and how many times do you really fall in love deeply, actually? How many missed chances were there? I don't know about soulmates, maybe i'll only know who my soulmate really is on my deathbed. Sometimes when you thought that a person might be your soulmate, but it turns out not. For some, it turns out right...

There’s always this cliché in movies “When you find that someone, don’t let it go”
Well….
But whatever it is, I want to make sure that I’ve tried my best cos, if it doesn’t work out, I don’t want to look back and regret on anything. No regrets but to learn along the journey.