my realm of vertigo

You shall not accept any information unless you verify it for yourself. I have given you the hearing, the eyesight and the brain, and you are responsible for using them {17:36}

Friday, September 30, 2005

Faith in you no more

I have enough of waiting...
I mean I'm sick of twirling in this never ending story
because I'm yearning for something different
and not something that is a repeated telecast

Come on, give me something to hold on to...
If not, that's it
I'm leaving

I wish I have the patience of a camel
But I'm overloaded with emotion

I don't wish to eat my words after this
I hope I'll be in solitude
and you'll be sufficient too

I know you'll be...

Let's just leave each other alone
You'll find your happiness with someone else
and I'll get mine probably...

If by now, you still are clueless
and directionless
I really have no more effervescence and energy to pull you through...

But it's not your fault
neither it's mine

Being with you is my ecstasy
But now all I have to do is to go Cold Turkey

This is my decision
I don't wish to be in this whirlwind anymore

If you love me, say to me...
But if we rather not be...
let's just leave
and never hear, speak or see, you and me...

(This monologue holds no reference to any person dead or alive. Any directed guilt or self-accusation is purely unintentional)

Friday, September 23, 2005

A tribute to myself , my forlorn self (and i want to go home to my Mama)

It's such a cold lonely night and I want to go home...Oh Michael Bubble, you make me oh so sentimental. I'm really feeling the blues. What with a weather like this, playing Buble's song and getting in touch with what i'm really feeling inside just makes me overwhelmed with dreary. Anyway i just stumbled on testimonials by my beloved friends on friendster (which I visit like twice in a year). It really touches me. Thank you. I'm going to post it here. Sorry for being narcistic and egoistic but it's not often that I get in tune to my self-appraising Leo traits.... ;)

From Redz:

Decided to write a testimonial for ur sorry ass...!Wat can I really say about Jules? Too much bad hair days led her to dive into a world sociopathy...and she's out to kill everyone that dares to look her in the eyes!!! hahaha.No seriously...1st time I met her she resembled one of those chicks who's into cults & gothic misadventures. Take a step back and...*in awe* intellectual, no-nonsense valkyrie with such disarming sincerity that you'd rarely get in this current world of plasticity! She's actually one out of a handful people whom I feel that has a good, original fashion sense. Ya can't beat that. But more importantly, she's become someone real important in my life who'd found herself a place in my heart and be proud to call her my friend...cheers Jules!

P.S Bro, only you can understand all my quirks...hahha

From Nik:

All I know behind the all-crushing, spike-blooded damsel in her collection of goth pics, is that this lady is a soft-spoken, respectable yet hard-hitting in every aspect. She's the girl next door who has this look that says ' hey I go to the gym everyday; mess with me and I'll Thai box your ass into space'. Wooo.... In school, she's the definite mystery girl, keeps a low profile and excellent with the hockey stick. Nevertheless, she's a material girl in the material world. Juli's hook to sensitivity can definitely melt a lady or for a man, make him go down to his knees for her. Too good to be true? Wait till you meet her.... Juli might end up telling me to go suck my own balls instead of bragging about her. All the best in life Jule's. Life's a cracker, but for this Tomb Raider, it won't get any tougher....

P.S Nik, hope you're having a ball of a time soaring up the sky

From Suz:

Juli!!! I hope thatz not the real u in the picture... u r a pretty girl, put up lah ur real pic... Haiz... Well, My dear fren Juli here, is into the gothic n anything spooky... but thatz the thing tt makes her so special that sometimes, i can connect with her too.. hehe.. She loves the outdoors n anything that will provide her with a new experience n of course,adventure...She's always travelling n sometimes i envy her coz she's willing to leave everything behind in S'pore and seek new adventures out there...Carpe Diem!We've been schoolmates for 4 years but we've only gotten closer the last 1 yr... well, i can say that she's got patience n she can take a lot of crap from ppl... gd listener too... but this girl's spunky, and she has a sarcastic sense of humour... but Juli, thatz why i luv u n i hang out with u... Hehe...She can cook too,... i recall her western style mee goreng n her micro-baked potatoes.. Yum yum.. i love the cheesy potatoes... She may appear like ur tough girl on the outside, but she really is kind-hearted n a good fren... Take care girl...

P.S Suz, you're a wonderful babe too...

From Rinaz:

First time I met Juli was back in Jurong Institute somewhere in the year of 1997. I thought we'd never get along. We had very different personalities.I liked to keep by myself and just be content. Juli (to me) was smart and did alot of sports and was popular in class.But slowly I found out that Juli was actually a really nice person who would take the time to know a person. She's ask me to join her in study groups and I thought hey, this girl isnt bad. I'd like to know her better.I got to know her character and mannerisms. And I like what I see. Juli is a friend that will be with you through thick and thin. And I'm touched at how loyal she is around the people that she cares about. So many examples of how she show that. Like the time when she actually cooked a full course dinner for Hema and me (Dont know if anyone ever done that before for me..Me!)And the time when she did a surprise birthday celebration at la forketta. Thats so sweet and I'm so touched. I really was :)And the numerous times when she'd just sit down and talk with me and give advice. I think Juli is really a wonderful person. One of the best friend anyone could ever have.

p.s Babe, you're a delight for me to have as friend all these years

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

I want to be the uptown gal!

I'm listening to Billy Joel 'For the longest time'. If anyone writes a song just for me, gosh i'm going to fall head over heels with him. Doesn't matter if he looks drunk like Billy Joel. I'll be your uptown girl, boy. Anyway silly Billy, you just don't know how to treasure pretty Christy.

Silly Billy kiss pretty little Christy
He runs away
Christy's little heart breaks
and Billy still remains silly...

Sunday, September 18, 2005


I just find this concept of blogging interesting. Firstly I do agree that man are curious beings. Why are they so nosy to find out what's going on in other people's lives! It's just so interesting to scoop on other people's juicy going-ons, right? just like when you buy the tabloid to know what's with our superstars. It works both ways i guess. I think human being needs audience to feel their importance in life. Like when i start this blogging trend, i wonder who is my audience...i'll still keep my diary though (for my really personal and dark secrets)


Ok i'm addicted to posting. Let's see how long this addiction will last. But as to all addiction, they all usually last pretty long for me..hehe...kidding. Anyway this is the best photo i can find of myself.

My debut

This is first blog. But i do feel kinda apprehensive, letting other people into my life..But anyway i'll start with this 2 cents worth..

well, if it doesn't kill you ,it will only make you stronger...
no matter how much your heart was shredded, you just have to go through with what little pieces remain...sometimes being in sombre enables us to reflect things that we have been taking for granted all these while...
sometimes i do feel being addicted to sadness.This is who i am...
Cos i feel i think and reflect more when i'm in melancholy than in sheer happiness..but that is just who i am...anyway i don't want to ramble so much on this first to start slow...