my realm of vertigo

2006-07-15T01:50:00.000+08:00

Always on your side-Sheryl Crow

My yesterdays are all boxed up and neatly put away
But every now and then you come to mind
Cause you were always waiting to be picked to play the game
But when your name was called, you found a place to hide
When you knew that I was always on your side

Well everything was easy then, so sweet and innocent
But your demons and your angels reappeared
Leavin' all the traces of the man you thought you'd be
Leavin' me with no place left to go from here
Leavin' me so many questions all these years

But is there someplace far away, someplace where all is clear
Easy to start over with the ones you hold so dear
Or are you left to wonder, all alone, eternally
This isn't how it's really meant to be
No it isn't how it's really meant to be

Well they say that love is in the air, but never is it clear,
How to pull it close and make it stay
Butterflies are free to fly, and so they fly away
And I'm left to carry on and wonder why
Even through it all, I'm always on your side

But is there someplace far away, someplace where all is clear
Easy to start over with the ones you hold so dear
Or are we left to wonder, all alone, eternally
But is this how it's really meant to be
No is it how it's really meant to be

Well if they say that love is in the air, never is it clear
How to pull it close and make it stay
If butterflies are free to fly, why do they fly away
Leavin' me to carry on and wonder why
Was it you that kept me wondering through this life
When you know that I was always on your side

This song just make me teary-eyed....

and Damn the Yankees
(See if you can remember old skool songs like these :))

I don't wanna hear about it anymore
It's a shame
I've got to live without you anymore

There's a fire in my heart
A pounding in my brain
It's driving me crazy

We don't need to talk about it anymore
Yesterday's just a memory
Can we close the door
I just made one mistake
I didn't know what to say when you called me baby

Don't say goodnight
Say you're gonna stay forever
Oh oo Oh, all the way

Can you take me high enough
To fly me over (fly me over) yesterday
Can you take me high enough
It's never over
Yesterday's just a memory (yesterday's just a memory and)

I don't want to live without you anymore
Can't you see I'm in misery
And you know for sure
I would live and die for you
And I'd know just what to do when you call me baby

Don't say goodbye
Say you're gonna stay forever
Oh oo Oh,
all the way

Can you take me high enough
Can you fly me over (fly me over) yesterday
Can you take me high enough
It's never over
Yesterday's just a memory,

I'm running
I was running for the door
The next thing I remember
I was running back for more

Yeah...Don't say goodbye
Say you're gonna stay forever
Oh oo Oh, all the way (all the way, all the way, yeah)
Can you take me high enough
Can you fly me over (fly me over) yesterday
Can you take me high enough
It's never over
Woh oo oh oo oh oo oh

Can you take me high enough
Won't you fly me over (won't you fly me over) yesterday
Can you take me high enough
It's never over
Woh oo oh oo oh oo oh

2006-07-10T23:45:00.000+08:00

Warren Macdonald

Warren Macdonald, I have nothing but admiration for you.

An example of perseverance beyond humand endurance.

I salute you

2006-06-01T00:24:00.000+08:00

To you Grandfather...

I wish to say sorry for not being able to be at your deathbed
I wish to say sorry for not being there at your funeral yesterday
I wish to say sorry for only have known you so little and met you few times in my life
I hope that you will rest in peace and may you be placed in a good haven

When my mum called me from Malacca to tell me that my grandfather has just passed away, the only word i could say was ok and 'Inna Lilah Wa Inna Lilah Hi Rah Ji Un' . Now, two days later, i feel sad that i did not feel sad for him then. I didn't know my grandfather well although i know he existed. He was the only grandparent that was still alive but he was staying in Malacca and I am here. I just feel numbed with too many things that is going in my life that i don't know what to feel. and although he's of blood relation, i just don't know what to feel of him passing away. But i keep seeing his face now...

Grandpa, I pray for your happiness over there.

We belong to Him and to Him we are returning.....

2006-05-11T01:51:00.000+08:00

Powerful article

I think this is one of the most powerful, earnest and direct article i've read. It's a must read. (by Anna E. Jordan)
http://www.submission.org/God/same.html

Ignorance and apathy are the worst enemies of the mind and soul

Peace to all
Juli

2006-05-10T23:12:00.000+08:00

Beautiful Sarah

This is my friend's daughter. Isn't she BEAUTIFUL?!
OK I want a daughter as beautiful as Sarah. Anyone out there wants to be the sperm donor? hehe...only the million armies I want, other things I don't want...

To make my own beautiful Sarah as perfect as possible the man must must qualify these criterias
1) must have the intelligence of Bill Gates
2) must have the looks of Tom Cruise
3) must have the heart of Gandhi
4) must have the body of Vin Diesel

ok, if you think you fit these traits, you can call this number : 1800-donate-my-sperm-foundation.
Call me...

2006-05-09T02:00:00.000+08:00

Essence

I want to sail the Gondola with you
Watching your face, beaming
With the light of the sun slithering through your lines
Of experience of time of sadness and all the endeavours
that you went through
that we went through

I want to sail the Gondola with you
To kiss you not only of passion
But for thanking you
All these years sharing,
What nobody else could do
Together with me

We have gone on the journey together
And we hold hands
Feeling them and reminiscing what it was then
Forty years ago
Holding hands made us excited
But now it’s you and me, leading each other
Hoping you’ll hold me for eternity
And we’ll be there to see each other
When we cease here to exist

Love no longer means bunch of flowers for me
But the petals to throw
On the bed of my remains
And to know that this love means more than just ‘you and me’

I want to sail the Gondola with you
Cos it’s a journey
Not only here and now
But in essence ultimately

2006-05-07T19:20:00.000+08:00

Feeling, Nothing but a feeling

This is the thing about feelings; it creeps up unto you when you least expected.
It may be a good thing to those who are pleasantly surprised by the lightning bolt of that initial amorous feeling. But it may come unfortunately sometimes as that heart-splitting hitting dagger which can knock you out instantly. I’ve experienced both, yes, something that’s hard to control.

That’s the thing about feeling; I’m pointing specifically to love. This four-letter word coupled with the potent emotion can really make people do stupid, even self-destructive stunts. Oh yes, I’ve been passionate, relentless, self-sacrificial, silly, irritating, understanding, you name it, I’ve been there, done that. If in normality, I would usually be in total control of myself but this sometimes unwelcomed affection just have to creep up and make me do compulsive actions that would force me to open myself up and do something silly, which is not something I fancy.

I like to be in control of myself and that’s why it’s difficult for me to let other people in on my life. But when true and genuine affection and passion comes whiff by and linger, I hold on and don’t want to let it go (even when it’s time to let go). I don’t know if this is what others have been doing and I don’t know if this is right. Is there any right or wrong answers? I think the difficult and thin line is to love unconditionally or to love your partner silly!

I believe that the partner you are with or the one that you are not with are all pre-planned. Perhaps the ones that you lost were just not meant for you and perhaps there are good reasons for that. Perhaps the ones that you are with, are with you for certain reasons, perhaps even more important than just to be your companion. Actually i have told my past companions, that i need more than just a relationship. I don't know, maybe i have created a negative impression on them with that statement. Hhhmmm...But that is just my principle. Maybe that principle has also made me err in my judgement in some ways. I don't know.

But anyway, I strongly believe that whatever I do, I have to put in my best effort and especially when it comes to something as important as the love I cultivate in my relationships.
I do not want to look back and to think that I’ve let go of something or someone that is so precious to me and I just let it go without care.

I have to be candid about this, but it’s not easy to find a good person in this world, let alone a good person who loves you and whom you love back, deeply, and if I did, do, or will find him, would I ever want to let him go? You live only once and how many times do you really fall in love deeply, actually? How many missed chances were there? I don't know about soulmates, maybe i'll only know who my soulmate really is on my deathbed. Sometimes when you thought that a person might be your soulmate, but it turns out not. For some, it turns out right...

There’s always this cliché in movies “When you find that someone, don’t let it go”
Well….
But whatever it is, I want to make sure that I’ve tried my best cos, if it doesn’t work out, I don’t want to look back and regret on anything. No regrets but to learn along the journey.

2006-05-06T23:11:00.000+08:00

AN INTERESTING CONVERSATION

Thought of sharing this with you guys.

An atheist professor of philosophy speaks to his class on the problem science has with God, The Almighty. He asks one of his new students to stand and .....

Prof: So you believe in God?
Student: Absolutely, sir.

Prof: Is God good?
Student: Sure.Prof:

Is God all-powerful?
Student: Yes.

Prof: My brother died of cancer even though he prayed to God to heal him. Most of us would attempt to help others who are ill. But God didn't. How is this God good then?
Hmm?(Student is silent.)

Prof: You can't answer, can you? Let's start again, young fellow. Is God good?
Student: Yes.

Prof: Is Satan good?
Student: No.

Prof: Where does Satan come from?
Student: From...God...

Prof: That's right. Tell me son, is there evil in this world?
Student: Yes.

Prof: Evil is everywhere, isn't it? And God did make everything. Correct?
Student: Yes.

Prof: So who created evil?

Student does not answer.

Prof: Is there sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness? All these terrible things exist in the world, don't they?
Student: Yes, sir.

Prof: So, who created them?

Student has no answer.

Prof: Science says you have 5 senses you use to identify and observe the world around you. Tell me, son...Have you ever seen God?
Student: No, sir.

Prof: Tell us if you have ever heard your God?
Student: No, sir.

Prof: Have you ever felt your God, tasted your God, smell your God? Have you ever had any sensory perception of God for that matter?
Student: No, sir. I'm afraid I haven't.

Prof: Yet you still believe in Him?
Student: Yes.

Prof: According to empirical, testable, demonstrable protocol, science says your GOD doesn't exist. What do you say to that, son?
Student: Nothing. I only have my faith.

Prof: Yes. Faith. And that is the problem science has.

Student: Professor, is there such a thing as heat?
Prof: Yes.

Student: And is there such a thing as cold?
Prof: Yes.

Student: No sir. There isn't.(The lecture theatre becomes very quiet with this turn of events.)Student: Sir, you can have lots of heat, even more heat, superheat, mega heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat. But we don't have anything called cold. We can hit 458 degrees below zero which is no heat, but we can't go any further after that. There is no such thing as cold. Cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of heat. We cannot measure cold. Heat is energy. Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just the absence of it.
(There is pin-drop silence in the lecture theatre.)

Student: What about darkness, Professor? Is there such a thing as darkness?
Prof: Yes. What is night if there isn't darkness?
Student: You're wrong again, sir. Darkness is the absence of something. You can have low light, normal light, bright light, flashing light....But if you have no light constantly, you have nothing and it's called darkness, isn't it? In reality, darkness isn't. If it were you would be able to make darkness darker, wouldn't you?

Prof: So what is the point you are making, young man?
Student: Sir, my point is your philosophical premise is flawed.
Prof: Flawed? Can you explain how?

Student: Sir, you are working on the premise of duality. You argue there is life and then there is death, a good God and a bad God. You are viewing the concept of God as something finite, something we can measure. Sir, science can't even explain a thought. It uses electricity and magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one.To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing. Death is not the opposite of life: just the absence of it. Now tell me, Professor. Do you teach your students that they evolved from a monkey?
Prof: If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, yes, of course, I do.

Student: Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir?
(The Professor shakes his head with a smile, beginning to realize where the argument is going.)
Student: Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at work and cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavor, are you not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you not a scientist but a preacher?
(Theclass is in uproar.)

Student: Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the Professor's brain?
(The class breaks out into laughter.)

Student: Is there anyone here who has ever heard the Professor's brain, felt it, touched or smell it? No one appears to have done so. So, according to the established rules of empirical, stable, demonstrable protocol, science says that you have no brain, sir. With all due respect, sir, how do we then trust your lectures, sir?
(The room is silent. The professor stares at the student, his face unfathomable.)

Prof: I guess you'll have to take them on faith, son.Student: That is it sir... The link between man & god is FAITH. That is all that keeps things moving & alive.

WANT TO KNOW WHO THAT STUDENT WAS scroll down
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> .It was me! Hehehe..kidding..I wish…
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> .NB: .This is a true story, and the student was none other than.........Dr. APJ Abdul Kalam, the present president of India.
Cheers

2006-04-30T01:40:00.000+08:00

Old Rider Pics

Manage to dig out some old riding photos. These photos were like taken years ago. Gosh it's been a while since I last cycle. But I will start again soon. Couple of things I've been holding off and procrastinate. About time I stop procrastinating and start striking off my New Year Resolution one by one (meaning to accomplish it, Yeah!)

Relakksss at Plaza Singapura first

At then Sengkang

At a hidden entrance (Me very the tomboyish looking, Man!)

2006-04-23T19:50:00.000+08:00

Uploaded photos from handphone

Just for fun...

2006-01-31T20:15:00.000+08:00

Too inspired by sacharine sweet love stories

After much heartache to let go of the past, I'm now ready to fall hopelessly in love again. Yes, I'm a sucker for romance(not many knows that, a lot of people think I'm too stone cold but it's not really true, really!) Please no more heartache and heartwrenching affairs just a simple love..maybe..

2006-01-31T02:07:00.000+08:00

Inevitably it will be barren

I watched Le Grande Voyage just now. A subtle yet powerful in invoking emotions. Enlightening to say the least. This movie depicts the beauty of Islam and yet not blatant in its approach. And it helps to remind me that yes, we humans are only guests on this earth.

O' Allah, the Almighty, I prostrate upon You together with the seven universes.

We are all like fish in the sea, swimming constantly trying to find the right directions. May those who is seeking the answer to their purpose of life be given the answer and may those who yet to seek the answer be given the light of inititiation in seeking the answer. As naive as I may sound, I really hope that human beings in this world do not just float in this life, 'just to survive' and waiting to die.

Human life is not created by chance as is no house in the village is created by chance.

We are given the brain to think, think shall we then.
We are given the heart to feel, feel shall we then.
We are given the soul to reflect, reflect shall we then.

I haven't being the best of human being, although I try to. Along the way of my life, I try to learn; from people, from mistakes I've made, from knowledge and from reflecting and thinking.

I pray for God to make me a better Muslim cos none whatsoever is more important. This world is full of temporals: along the way as I carry out my duties as a human being, I know that there is something more magnificient and eternal later.
On saying this, I have no intention of making myself 'holier than thou', but for inducing people (if I can) to constantly reflect on what we have and what are we really attaining for...

May God bless you

2006-01-24T22:18:00.000+08:00

My new boyfriend, the photographer

No, i won't be clinging on his back....EEeeee

2006-01-09T00:13:00.000+08:00

I thank you God for letting me born into this world
I thank you god for letting me born into this world with two legs, two arms, full facial features and working organs
I thank you God for letting me born into this world, not into poverty
I thank you God for letting me born into this world, not being forced by my parents into child prostitution
But what am i going to do, God, as the 'lucky one', for them who have to go through these sufferings?

2005-11-27T19:38:00.000+08:00

Tribute to him

I would just keep this post simple.
In tribute to this man.
and the progressive dislike towards a certain Titan.

2005-11-11T00:56:00.000+08:00

It's heart-wrenching to admit my mistake

It's painful to admit that you've made a mistake in your choice. It just needs that painful statement by the other party to open up your eyes. All these while when you've been putting the other person on a pedestal and you willing to sacrifice almost everything for that person and suddenly he made a verbal attack on something that you really highly regard most in your life. What kind of person would do this. It's just plain lousy. I don't understand it myself. But maybe one thing is that it made me realise that it's dangerous to put any human being on a pedestal because human being human, is fallible. WEll, .....

It's unfortunate to have a list of misses in the heart department

It's heart-wrenching to admit your mistake in your choice

To realise that you are just delusional

But, wake up! wake up! and smell another rotten flower awaiting in the bushes.

But frankly I rather not cos I'm just plain tired and I want to sleep...

2005-11-06T00:31:00.000+08:00

Beautiful saying

Anyway i just want to post a saying I read somewhere. A beautiful one...

"Nobody in their deathbed would say that they wish they had spent more time at their workplace"

2005-11-05T16:24:00.000+08:00

Moore and the Ben & Jerry's ice cream named after his former TV series The Awful Truth.

Can you handle the awful truth?!

I'm a huge, HUGE fan of Michael Moore. To those of you who doesn't know Michael Moore, I think it's about time you are introduced to this Gungho, over the top, righteous, brilliant, rebellious, in-your-face author and film and documentary maker. The first movie of his that I watched was 9/11: A slap-in-the-face movie dedicated especially for Mr George Bush. Sadly that's the only movie I've watched from him. (anyone who knows of his other titles or materials do let me know, although been searching for 'Bowling for Columbines').

But I've been an avid fan of his documentary cum talk show cum comedy every Friday on reality tv called 'The awful Truth'.

He is good in exposing the dirty laudry of this Titan called America. The last episode he talked about how the American white policemen seemingly consume LSD cos they have been shooting innocent African Americans for 'allegedly' carrying guns in their hands which turned out actually to be trivial daily stuffs like wallets and snicker bars. Stupid.

I like the episode where he slammed into the Afghan ambassador's office to discuss about the ban of television in Afghanistan and he later created a parody of dropping bundles of television to Afghanistan. Haha, that was funny and wicked.

Anyway those of you who are still blurry should catch the show yourself. It's on every Friday on Reality TV.

Kudos to you Moore!

2005-10-27T00:49:00.000+08:00

ANYONE INTERESTED IN CLIMBING MOUNT KINABALU?

Anyone out there interested to climb Mount Kinabalu from 22nd December to 27th December (about 600 bucks)....Let me know...Just dying to get out of Singapore....

2005-10-11T22:54:00.000+08:00

Makeover of yours truly

Marina suggested for us to go through a makeover ourselves since we've been doing makeovers for people all the time. Well after the makeover, we realised that we could do better ones...hehhe...and Coverlooks charged us 10 smuckeroos per photo...Rip my pocket apart...Well for the sake of fun!

2005-10-09T22:00:00.000+08:00

Makeover creations

My makeover creations (together with my favourite photographer, Marina)...wadyathink?
you can see more at http://www.flickr.com/photos/rinaz.

2005-10-08T01:12:00.000+08:00

YOU ARE JUST A WASTE OF MY TIME...NO, SERIOUSLY...

That's it for today's post....

2005-09-30T01:08:00.000+08:00

Faith in you no more

I have enough of waiting...
I mean I'm sick of twirling in this never ending story
because I'm yearning for something different
and not something that is a repeated telecast

Come on, give me something to hold on to...
If not, that's it
I'm leaving

I wish I have the patience of a camel
But I'm overloaded with emotion

I don't wish to eat my words after this
I hope I'll be in solitude
and you'll be sufficient too

I know you'll be...

Let's just leave each other alone
You'll find your happiness with someone else
and I'll get mine probably...

If by now, you still are clueless
and directionless
I really have no more effervescence and energy to pull you through...

But it's not your fault
neither it's mine

Being with you is my ecstasy
But now all I have to do is to go Cold Turkey

This is my decision
I don't wish to be in this whirlwind anymore

If you love me, say to me...
But if we rather not be...
let's just leave
and never hear, speak or see, you and me...

(This monologue holds no reference to any person dead or alive. Any directed guilt or self-accusation is purely unintentional)

2005-09-23T01:27:00.000+08:00

A tribute to myself , my forlorn self (and i want to go home to my Mama)

It's such a cold lonely night and I want to go home...Oh Michael Bubble, you make me oh so sentimental. I'm really feeling the blues. What with a weather like this, playing Buble's song and getting in touch with what i'm really feeling inside just makes me overwhelmed with dreary. Anyway i just stumbled on testimonials by my beloved friends on friendster (which I visit like twice in a year). It really touches me. Thank you. I'm going to post it here. Sorry for being narcistic and egoistic but it's not often that I get in tune to my self-appraising Leo traits.... ;)

From Redz:

Decided to write a testimonial for ur sorry ass...!Wat can I really say about Jules? Too much bad hair days led her to dive into a world sociopathy...and she's out to kill everyone that dares to look her in the eyes!!! hahaha.No seriously...1st time I met her she resembled one of those chicks who's into cults & gothic misadventures. Take a step back and...*in awe*...an intellectual, no-nonsense valkyrie with such disarming sincerity that you'd rarely get in this current world of plasticity! She's actually one out of a handful people whom I feel that has a good, original fashion sense. Ya can't beat that. But more importantly, she's become someone real important in my life who'd found herself a place in my heart and be proud to call her my friend...cheers Jules!

P.S Bro, only you can understand all my quirks...hahha

From Nik:

All I know behind the all-crushing, spike-blooded damsel in her collection of goth pics, is that this lady is a soft-spoken, respectable yet hard-hitting in every aspect. She's the girl next door who has this look that says ' hey I go to the gym everyday; mess with me and I'll Thai box your ass into space'. Wooo.... In school, she's the definite mystery girl, keeps a low profile and excellent with the hockey stick. Nevertheless, she's a material girl in the material world. Juli's hook to sensitivity can definitely melt a lady or for a man, make him go down to his knees for her. Too good to be true? Wait till you meet her.... Juli might end up telling me to go suck my own balls instead of bragging about her. All the best in life Jule's. Life's a cracker, but for this Tomb Raider, it won't get any tougher....

P.S Nik, hope you're having a ball of a time soaring up the sky

From Suz:

Juli!!! I hope thatz not the real u in the picture... u r a pretty girl, put up lah ur real pic... Haiz... Well, My dear fren Juli here, is into the gothic n anything spooky... but thatz the thing tt makes her so special that sometimes, i can connect with her too.. hehe.. She loves the outdoors n anything that will provide her with a new experience n of course,adventure...She's always travelling n sometimes i envy her coz she's willing to leave everything behind in S'pore and seek new adventures out there...Carpe Diem!We've been schoolmates for 4 years but we've only gotten closer the last 1 yr... well, i can say that she's got patience n she can take a lot of crap from ppl... gd listener too... but this girl's spunky, and she has a sarcastic sense of humour... but Juli, thatz why i luv u n i hang out with u... Hehe...She can cook too,... i recall her western style mee goreng n her micro-baked potatoes.. Yum yum.. i love the cheesy potatoes... She may appear like ur tough girl on the outside, but she really is kind-hearted n a good fren... Take care girl...

P.S Suz, you're a wonderful babe too...

From Rinaz:

First time I met Juli was back in Jurong Institute somewhere in the year of 1997. I thought we'd never get along. We had very different personalities.I liked to keep by myself and just be content. Juli (to me) was smart and did alot of sports and was popular in class.But slowly I found out that Juli was actually a really nice person who would take the time to know a person. She's ask me to join her in study groups and I thought hey, this girl isnt bad. I'd like to know her better.I got to know her character and mannerisms. And I like what I see. Juli is a friend that will be with you through thick and thin. And I'm touched at how loyal she is around the people that she cares about. So many examples of how she show that. Like the time when she actually cooked a full course dinner for Hema and me (Dont know if anyone ever done that before for me..Me!)And the time when she did a surprise birthday celebration at la forketta. Thats so sweet and I'm so touched. I really was :)And the numerous times when she'd just sit down and talk with me and give advice. I think Juli is really a wonderful person. One of the best friend anyone could ever have.

p.s Babe, you're a delight for me to have as friend all these years

2005-09-20T01:33:00.000+08:00

I want to be the uptown gal!

I'm listening to Billy Joel 'For the longest time'. If anyone writes a song just for me, gosh i'm going to fall head over heels with him. Doesn't matter if he looks drunk like Billy Joel. I'll be your uptown girl, boy. Anyway silly Billy, you just don't know how to treasure pretty Christy.

Silly Billy kiss pretty little Christy
He runs away
Christy's little heart breaks
and Billy still remains silly...